Timing

Our pastor made an announcement in church today about a missions trip that a university student in our congregation is going on. Michael goes to school in Ontario and he is going to Tanzania with Campus for Christ this spring. I've never actually met him, but I've heard lots about him. His mom told me about his acceptance to the project a week or two ago, so I already knew that he was going. However, when I heard it announced to everyone, it made me realize the extent of what I have been consciously and maybe subconsciously feeling for the last few months.

I've wanted to go to Tanzania, Africa ever since I heard about the annual missions trip a couple years ago. Out of all the projects that Campus for Christ does, this one just stands out. I feel drawn to it for some reason. I want to go and share Christ with the people there. I feel like I will go, it's just a matter of when. I was seriously considering going this year, because it would have worked out perfectly with my work schedule. This was the first year that I really thought I may go. Some family things came up, and I know that this isn't the right time for me to go. I thought I was okay with that. When the pastor talked about the details of the trip and asked the congregation to come together, stand behind Michael to send him out, and support him financially and in prayer, I suddenly felt really jealous. He's going on my trip. This year, a bunch of people from Campus for Christ at my school have gone on spring break projects or are going on summer ones. It seems like this is the year that everyone is going somewhere. He's going on my trip, this year.

I know that timing matters for something like this and I really want to trust God's timing in my life. It's not my right to go when I think I should go. God hasn't committed an injustice against me because I'm not going this year. I have a mission field around me right now, so I can serve God where I'm at. I don't want to go ahead of God's calling and do something on my own. Maybe I will never go, and that's okay. I confessed my bad attitude to God and I even prayed for Michael and his trip this afternoon. I trust that God knows what he is doing, even though it doesn't seem fair to me at the moment.

I don't feel completely better yet, but I think I will soon.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11