This is Megha making another cameo (see: October 7 – 21, 2007). In reading this blog, I feel that you people at home don’t get to know the real Jessie. Sure you get to hear her opinions on Santa, the Stadium, and Shiloh, but you never get to know the real her. I’m going to try to fill this informational void.
I firmly believe that the best way to get to know someone is talk to them. Since you don’t all get to do that on an hourly basis like I do, I thought I would throw out some snippets of our MSN conversations so you can understand Jessie’s true thoughts on certain aspects of life. The following are all direct Jessie quotes.
Jessie on Men:
“I think he's been warped for awhile now. He needs a slap in the face....how long has it been since they broke up?”
Jessie on Love:
“I don't know what to do with all these warm feelings inside me”
“I need to buy a gun, in case I want to hook up with one of the gangstas”
“I had my eye on 43 year old Mr. Jones”
“Turn him on and leave.”
“Do you think that it is an irrational request to only date someone who will legally change their name to crazy frog?”
“I hate spindly men. I go for the thick and hairy ones.”
“Double points for his shady character!”
“I just act fragile to get the boys”
“International = Gets Around”
“My kisses are magical”
Jessie on Her Childhood:
“I walked around the house wearing clam shells taped to my chest”
“It's nice to have a parrot for a friend”
“Time flies when you’re having rum.”
“Inappropriate things that will make amusing stories to tell later.”
“I got a breast enhancement.”
“In elementary, some girls were horse girls, I was a whale girl.” ...ten minutes later... “Seriously, I'm a whale girl”
“All I eat is krill – and a bit of plankton”
“The climax of my elementary career was when Free Willy came out”
Jessie on Her Femininity:
“Not everyone can be butch”
“Someday I'll have balls - they just haven't descended yet”
Jessie on Life:
“I like to read things in a logical order.”
“I've gotta go pick up my brother once I find my chauffeur hat and uniform.”
“The easier the better (in regards to EVERY situation and person).”
“I write all my blog entries under the willow.”
“Teach impressionable first years the REAL way to get good grades.”
“Just have some of my special brownies...they make everything better.”
“When I grow up I want to be Ken.”
“We could get it free from the pregnant lady up the street. (it = fresh milk)”
“It took me 3 hours to come up with a rhyme for heart that wasn’t fart.”
Jessie on Megha/Our Relationship:
“I have no problem drawing your blood”
“You are a literary genius. I'm enjoying your wit”
“I want to sing a song when you’re dead.”
“I don't want to eat you. I'd like to see you shot out of a cannon”
“You have a very impressive rack.”
“At least your butt doesn't look like a meteor hit it and left nothing of substance, like it usually does.”
“We can take turns making fun of your butt.”
“You and the cap on the ketchup have more in common than I thought.”
“Megha is so amazing!!”
“Would you like to be Shakira and I can be Beyonce?”
“You should douse yourself in gasoline and throw yourself in the fire.”
“You should cover your body in honey and pick a fight with a bear...”
“I'm going to feed you to the monkeys – they’re more hostile than you think”
“I've always wanted to have your babies”
“After the paper, I'm going to come and harpoon you in your sleep”
Disclaimer: These quotes have been taken out of context and are intended to be humourous. They do not necessarily reflect Jessie's beliefs or character.
1 comment:
Haha!! I really don't remember saying most of these quotes... :).
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