Official Press Release

from the Offices of Jessica Nadine Christenson and Megha Mridula Malhotra

We, Jessica and Megha, would like to inform the general public that all blog entries AND comments dated after Sunday October 7th, 2007 have been wholly and entirely fabricated. For the past 16 days, Ms. Christenson had assumed control of Ms. Malhotra’s blog, thereby being the author of all entries AND comments written by ‘Megha’; conversely, Ms. Malhotra was the author of all entries AND comments authored by ‘Jess’. To reiterate, all were fictitious. These particular posts have now been coloured peach.

We are sorry for any confusion, doubt, and misapprehensions that any of these entries or comments may have caused. We did not mean to offend anyone. All entries and comments were intended for comical purposes only.


Sincerely,

Jessica Christenson and Megha Malhotra

Broken Flowers

I cut metal with my bare hands today. A lock at the Stadium. Ok, it was with a lock cutter, but still it was me who did it. Me. Megha was less-than-impressed when I told her, but that's ok. I don't need her approval. I don't need anyone's approval.

I'm feeling fragile tonight. Delicate. The euphoria of this afternoon has worn off, and in it's place is sadness. Just a deep sadness. Simple things have been sending me over the edge today - a sad song on my playlist, an email from an old friend, a pretty flower. Little things have been making me cry tonight. I'm sad, but here's my secret: I really enjoy the vunerability that I feel. It's almost freeing to feel so breakable. I try to put up a strong front so often. Pretend that I'm superwoman with a heart of stone, but I'm letting all of this go now. I talked to my mentor/best friend Chuck today during my break at work. We talked for a good hour and that's when I started feeling this way. Thank you, Chuck, for telling me it's ok to be delicate. Thank you.

Happy :)

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while -things have just been really busy with school, work, and getting ready for the baby. My fertility appointment is tomorrow morning and I'm very excited to finally get things underway. My new friend Chuck is driving me to and from the appointment. I should probably tell you guys about Chuck, since you probably don't know him.

Chuck is my best friend. I met him last Thursday and we've been inseparable ever since. On Thursday, I was walking away from the SUB when this guy (Chuck) approached me. He introduced me to this underground inter-university club that is all about de-stressing and being open to healthy, strong relationships. It's about learning techniques that keep you safe and happy. The club introduces you to a safe atmosphere, away from the rest of the world, where you can rest and rejuvinate at your own pace. At first I thought all of this was a little hokey, but after visiting the club's base (a secure compound just outside of Halifax) my thoughts completely changed. It was just so peaceful there. Everyone was so welcoming and loving. I left a completely different person. It's definitely not a religious organization or cult (don't worry, I checked!!!). It's merely a group of friends helping friends. Chuck is on the club's council (they don't call it a council though, they call them "leaders"). He is in charge of spreading the word about them and being a sort of mentor to new recruits. And, like I said, he is my best friend.

After the baby is born, I think I'm going to move to the club's main compound to raise him or her.

Baby Names

I am SO excited to be a mommy! I'm not sure if I want a boy or girl - it actually isn't that important, just as long as I have a cute little infant to take care of and love. I've been so distracted by this all day, that I actually started to write to down some baby names! What do you all think?

Male:
Caleb
Aage
Frank
Jedidiah
Timothy
Joshua
Raymond
Holt
Jesse
Matthew
Morgan
Jordan
Franz
Michael
Finley
Antonio
Ryan

Female:
Felicity
Morticia
Wednesday
Nadine
Jessica
Rae
Isabella
Morgana
Jordin
Francesca
Rain
Bjork

Good news! I just got an email a few seconds ago. Looks like I have a meeting with a fertility expert on Monday. I have to miss my morning classes, but it's worth it. Thank you everyone for your support! You don't know what this means to me. I was so scared that no one would understand, but you all have surprised me. I love you all so much!

Baby News

I didn't see that random girl today. I looked everywhere and nothing! I'm so relieved.

I did realize something today: I am ready to have a baby. Seriously.

Ok. Laugh it out.

I saw a baby today, at school with her mom (my prof) and I held her. I've always wanted children, but in that moment I realized that I'm ready for one now. I want to be a young mother. And I know for a fact that I could handle it. Now the only issue is: how? I don't have any husband prospects yet (at least none that want me), but that's not a big issue. There are sperm banks and adoption. I just need to work a few practical issues through (like money), but other than that, I'm planning on having a baby in progress by January.

Surprisingly, my family is totally on-board with this! This was a huge shocker because I thought my mom would be totally against it. We had a nice long talk about the importance of family and she fully supports my decision. I have seriously never been this happy before in my life. I'm so...at peace.

Why me?

I saw her again! The girl who was staring at me in the library, I mean. Today she was in the SUB reading In the Skin of a Lion - one of my all-time favourite books, listening to Jump On It (a classic by Sir Mix-a-Lot) - I know this because as I walked past I looked down at her MP3 player, eating a cinnamon bun, wearing a brown sweater JUST LIKE MINE! And, to make things even more creepy, she had DRAWN ON FRECKLES! This girl definitely didn't have freckles the last time I saw her (last week).

I just don't know what to do....

Children are the Future

For one of my classes I need to think of an idea that promotes child development. So I came up with a new toy. It's a round object that can come in different sizes and colours. It's hollow, filled with air, so it's very light. It can be thrown around, rolled, sat on, etc - depending on the size. The best part of this new toy is that the number of people playing with it at one time is unlimited - one child, two, three, four, etc. The possibilities are practically endless! I just don't know what to call it...

Lovers and Stalkers

I'm in love.

I'm in love with a guy who doesn't know I exist. I'm not going to say his name in this blog, for obvious reasons, but I will describe my feelings for this man. I first met him years ago, but didn't really notice him. He was helping my mom carry things out to the car. Over the past few years I've had a few encounters with him - nothing worth mentioning. Until this September.

Since September, he and I have spent a lot of time together. A lot. And I went from completely not noticing this stranger to being like 'wow!'. He's charming, handsome, wealthy, good with kids, smart, kind...(I could go on). Unfortunately, he doesn't see me the way I see him. Instead, he's in love with some other girl.

We hate this girl.

Just kidding! We don't hate. Ever! We wish we were this girl.

Anyway, I wish I could disclose more details, but I can't without giving away who this silver fox is. Let's just say I need to get my mind off Mr. Anonymous.

And here's something that will definitely occupy my mind for a bit:

Last week I was studying for ecology in the library when I looked up and saw this blonde girl looking at me from another table. I brushed it off because it's midterms and we all go a little crazy\paranoid at midterm time. An hour later, I look up from my notes and I see that this girl has moved. Instead of being on the side of the table facing me, she's moved across the table so her back is towards me. And she's holding a mirror. Angling a mirror. So she can see me.

Creepy. Right? Just wait...

So the next morning I get on the bus and she's there! Sitting in the back, listening to music (on an MP3 player that looks just like mine...), reading an ecology textbook. And we got off at the same stop together. We walked into the LSC together. Luckily, at that moment I saw Megha and we started talking. The girl from the library kept walking past us.

Weirded out yet? Just wait...

Yesterday, I see this girl again. This time in the LSC walking in the opposite direction. Which is ok, I mean, at least she's not following me. But get this: she had dyed her hair brown. The exact shade as my hair. And she had it permed.

Yeah. It's been a strange, strange week.

Goals: October, 2007-December, 2007

There's a nice wee lass and her name's Mary Mac,
Make no mistake, she's the miss I'm going to track.
There's a lot of other chaps that would get her on her back,
But I'm thinking that they'd have to get up early.

Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.
My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.
And I'm going to marry Mary
To get married and take care of me.
We'll all be making merry when I marry Mary Mac.
~Mary Mac - Great Big Sea~

Goals are important in one's life. They keep you focused on what's important. Keep you moving ahead in the right direction. Because, as everyone knows, if you're not first, you're last.

So here are some personal goals I have for this semester:

1. Education - I'm going to get a 3.87 GPA. No question. It will happen. Also, I would like to speak up more in class. I've already given my thoughts on exploitation of child soldiers and marine animals in medieval Eastern Europe in my Ecology class (it was relevant, trust me). This is a good start, but I could take it a step further.

2. Romance - Do you remember the Elephant Love Medley in Moulin Rouge? Ewan McGregor's lines sums up my feelings on love. And I intend on putting these words into practice this semester. Please pass my number along to all eligible bachelors. My requirements? Single. Christian. Male. 20-45 years old. Ability to sing, dance, and cook. Must love dogs. It's important to note, that I want someone provocative and talkative.

3. Art - Memorize the song MaryMac and serenade everyone at every Christmas party I go to - just wait for the Campus for Christ party! :)

4. Friends - I would like to spend more time with my friends. I feel like I don't do enough for them. I might start baking for them.

5. Science - I would like to have my very own ant farm. I'll call it Jessie-land. And there will be lots of sunflowers.

Looks like it's going to be one busy semester.

Flip Flops/Thankful

I bought new flip flops recently. Worst. Mistake. Of Life. Seriously. These flip flops have literally ripped my skin to shreds. I have massive gashes on the sides of both of my feet. Now whatever touches my feet causes a sharp pain to shoot up my leg. Even AIR hurts my feet. I should sue someone.

Anyways. It's Thanksgiving around the Christenson household and I am feeling very thankful this year. In no particular order, here are some things I am thankful for in this moment:

1. The sunshine: Summer's been a trooper this year- it's not going down without a fight. Fight Summer, fight!

2. The brother: Josh and I had a competition this morning to see who could make the best bacon-and-eggs breakfast. Mayhem followed. Including, but not limited to: a broken glass (who knew hot grease could be that powerful?), burnt meat (there is such thing as overdone bacon...), and a buttered dog (my poor little greasy Shiloh!). I really love my brother. For the record, I won.

3. The mother: We fight, but it's out of love. Usually.

4. The friends: We fight, but it's out of love. Usually. Just kidding :). I seriously have the best friends in the world.

5. The O.C.: I'll admit it. I can appreciate this show. It doesn't make me a bad person.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.
And to all a Good Night.

PS- Word on the street is that our little camp girl has made a return to the blogging world. Check out her updated blog: http://www.megha-m-malhotra.blogspot.com/

Megha's B-day!

On clothes: Had a hard time deciding what to wear. Bek decided that I'd be happier if I wore my blue shirt. She was right. Sometimes I need people to make choices for me. Choosing an outfit is often a group decision when we go out.

On the ferry: Less hair blowing then anticipated. Surprisingly, the ferry really motors. I think the 2 cutie security guards took a liking to Megha. The non-access to life preservers made me particularly uneasy. Ahmad showed up. I think "he" might be the one...

On MacAskills: I felt like an uptown girl. Could I have a spontaneous rack of apple curry caesar salmon salad? They say that the seafood served there doesn't come from the harbour. I don't know if I believe it. Amarea, Morgan, Bek, and I made sure that Megha will never have to buy another pair of underwear as long as she lives. We may have taken pictures with Megha's gifts our heads. In the restaurant. No worries about getting older because we will be the hottest things seen through tri-focals.

On the drive to Megha's house: For some reason, car fulls of boys are attracted to my friends and I when we drive together. I don't understand it. It's a curse we are forced to live with. Last nite was no exception. Unfortunately, Amarea and Bek missed out on the action since they took a separate car.

On the movie: We tried our best to like Lindsay Lohan.

On the rest of the nite: Late nite chatting and snuggling. Drove home early then slept in til 2pm. Can't even remember the last time I had such a good sleep in.

Happy Birthday, my Megha! Love you!!

Summit 2007

I just got home from the C4C retreat! It was a gooooooood time. I'll write a proper entry about it later (maybe). Here's a taste of Summit.

Notable Calvin Quotes:
1. "I'm exploding with love."
After Amarea, Rebekah and I serenaded him, but before the group hug.

2. "I can't stop thinking about metal underwear."
During the conversation about what Team Chastidy really involves.

3. "I'm not a real man, like Germiko."
After Germiko skipped towards the bus like a little girl.

Ecology- Charles J. Krebs

I just opened my Ecology text book and was delighted to see that the author dedicated the book specifically to me.

"To the Unknown Ecologist who works without recognition to preserve the ecological integrity of the Earth for our grandchildren and who measures riches not in stocks and bonds but in biodiversity."

Lol. If only I could love ecology an eighth as much as this man. I would be in a special place right now. I would find writing this this lab report fun.

Actually, all joking aside, I think it would be remarkable to love my life's work as much as he seems to.

My brother knows all the lyrics to "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

Beautiful Things

Already Seen:
the ocean
snow
a waterfall
a shooting star
Cirque du Soleil
palm trees
whales
a full length ballet
an off-broadway musical

Wanna See:
a mountain
an iceberg
the northern lights
a really awesome concert

Cruel Summer

Nobody on the road. Nobody on the beach.
I feel it in the air. The summers out of reach.
Empty lake. Empty streets.
The sun goes down alone.
-Don Henley

My body is in September. The rest of me is stuck in summer mode. I can't shake it. The seasons are messing with my mind. School is foreign to me. I listen to strangers talk at me for hours. I write down every single thing they say so I can try to remember it all. Indoors. Can't sit still. It's unnatural. How did I do it every year before this? I'm seriously starting to become concerned....

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/don+henley/the+boys+of+summer_20042039.html

It would be so exciting to be a lover in a dangerous time.

The First Full Week of School

Man purses look more masculine if they are worn off the back as opposed to on the hip.

A snappy sweater goes a long way.

Every time the bus is late, I worry that the bus drivers have gone on strike and it will never come.

If a guy is reading a book on the bus, it makes him so much more attractive to me. I don't know why.

I talked in class for like the first time ever. I asked a question. I'm so proud of myself. Soon I'll be sharing my fascinating observations and interpretations of the text. Baby steps.

I've committed myself to refrain from wearing real shoes until absolutely necessary. My flip flops are like an extension of my very being.

PEI With My Girls!

1. The Drive
Amarea drives. Morgan navigates. Sarah reads. Jessie and Megha plot to take over the world. Our car full of girls passes a car full of guys. Stuff happens. Cell numbers are exchanged at 100km/hr. The guys miss their exit. Interesting conversations follow. Loud music plays. 90's hip hop tunes. JT. Timbaland. We forget about the guys. We yell at cows. We purchase fireworks. We cross the bridge. We don't get lost. 0 to 60 in 3.5. Someday.

2. The Cottage
Jumping on beds. Lots of hugging and conversation. Jessie and Megha share a bed. Amarea turns out their lights at night. Megha dyes Jessie's hair and parts of the cottage become permanently coloured. A picture taken at the same time that a window slams shut launches a serious investigation as to why Sarah heard the sound and saw the light. Massage time. Jessie wins the random draw for the 4 person massage. She is never the same. Secrets are revealed. Bonding.

3. The Shopping
Groceries. A non-confrontational and positive experience. Plan to assume accents fizzles. An old lady stops us from putting each food item in it's own mini paper bag. Raspberry Cordial. Cavendish Boardwalk. Mmmm...Cows ice cream. Super sales. Sarah and Morgan take forever in the stores. Just kidding. It wasn't that bad. The random photo-taking begins. Megha and Jessie buy matching necklaces. The search for the elusive, nearest drug store ends in success. Jessie and Amarea hope Josh and Deb's first child is a boy so they can buy him the baby-sized shirt with "I'm a breast man" written across the chest.

4. The Beach
Daytime. Suntanning. Swimming. Sarah and I are fishes. Tanning. Reading. Photo shoot. Jogging. I went jogging. Do they serve alcohol at the sand bar? Nighttime. Stargazing. Set off fireworks. Snuggling.

5. The Pool
Jessie and Sarah go swimming. Jessie and Sarah tackle Megha. Jessie and Sarah and Megha go swimming. Jessie and Sarah and Megha throw Amarea in the pool. Jessie and Sarah and Megha and Amarea go swimming. Morgan comes in eventually. Chicken fights and ring buoy races. Something happens.

Such a good trip! I love you guys so much.

School Year Resolution

I will participate in class discussion.
I will talk in class.
I will form opinions and share them.
Outloud.